One comic, one flooded island, and one very creative flight plan in New Zealand
When I first invited comedian Shaun Eli onto the podcast, I had no idea he’d end up sharing one of the most absurd, can’t-make-this-up travel stories I’ve ever heard. It’s got it all – an internet hitchhiker, grounded flights, and a last-ditch plan involving a New Zealand flight school.
Here it is, straight from Shaun himself – a story that proves just how far a performer will go to make sure the show really does go on.
My New Zealand Tour, December 2019
by Shaun Eli
In New Zealand. The booker – my opening act – is driving me around.
The first day, he says we’ll be picking up a hitchhiker.
“But it’s okay,” he adds, “not on the street – she’s from the internet.”
“Sure, that makes it safer,” I say sarcastically.
He explains, “Don’t worry, I do this all the time. There’s a Facebook page for people looking for rides. And she’s legitimate because her Facebook profile has been around for five years.”
I respond, “That’s the Facebook profile she stole from her last victim.”
Turns out she’s a 20-year-old backpacker from Poland, visiting NZ and Japan.
We’re heading back to Christchurch for our final show. After two days of not saying anything, she speaks up:
“My friend just texted me – all the bridges are closed.”
Flooding across a river has closed every single bridge. The south half of the South Island is cut off from the north half. And we’re on the wrong side for tonight’s show.
Plus, I’m scheduled to fly to Australia the next day. Prepaid, non-refundable, business class ticket. No affordable or timely way to get to Australia from where we are. No scheduled flights to get to Christchurch in time for my flight.
We were in the flooded area two days ago – so we know it’s only getting worse. We’re stuck. Every hotel we called was booked, because we’re not the only ones stranded. And it’s the beginning of summer.
I say I have an idea.
“Pull over.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m googling flight schools.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t need an airline – we just need a guy with a plane.”
We find a guy with a Cessna 185 (six-seat piston single). He’s been flying people from Christchurch to a tiny airport near us – presumably people stuck like us but on the other side of the river.
We go to the airport and wait.
He calls us back: it’s too windy to take off. Maybe in a few hours.
But I check the aviation weather – it’s going to get worse.
We walk to a small building across the field. I ask to charter a flight to Christchurch.
They say, “Sorry, we’re a flying club. Not licensed for chartering.”
I ask if they do flight instruction. They do.
I say, “I’m an American pilot and I need to brush up on my skills and learn about flying in NZ – including landing at some of their larger airports, like Christchurch.”
He says, “That’ll work.”
But it’s still too windy for their small planes (4-seat piston single engines).
Wait – there’s a guy coming in with a Seneca (a six-seat twin engine). No room for us because it’s booked, but maybe he can do another trip.
He lands. We ask.
Sure – he’ll drop them off and come back for us.
We flew in the wind and my opening act complained it wasn’t bumpy enough.
The show must go on.
And it did.
My opening act told the audience about our adventures.
I said:
“I hope you all like this show – because God herself tried to stop us from getting here.”
🎙️ Hear the thrilling retelling yourself! Tune in to Had To Be There Episode 067 to hear the full conversation. And connect with Shaun by visiting BrainChampagne.com and IvyStandup.com.